Living the Dream
by Mistress Angel
Summary: Set during season 6 of Buffy. Angel and Buffy are sharing dreams again, but this time there ending a little differently
1. Chapter 1: The perfect life

_**Living The Dream**_

_**Chapter 1: The Perfect Life:**_

_Alright I started this story a long time ago. I know this chapter will seem sorta anti-B/A. But I like it better when they find there way back to each other. And when Cordilia gets all forgotten so thats what I'm doing. Plz review and tell me what you think_

Angel rolled over in his bed, still in an uneasy sleep. It wasn't often he dreamed but when he did they were always vivid. He could almost feel the sensation of her skin against his own, a vivid picture etched in his mind. Her soft skin, warm lips, silky hair. Her body was clinging helplessly to his own. He could practically hear her soft moan as he pressed deeper into her. He wanted her so badly. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and tell her just that.

He was sure Cordilia felt the same way about him. He should make a move shouldn't he? He should go right up to her and say what he knew they were both thinking.

A knock on the door stirred him into consciousness.

"Angel?" Cordilia's voice called in to him from the other side of his closed door. "Are you awake yet?"

Angel was reluctant to leave his dream yet excited by the thought of seeing her for real.

"I'm up" he called back to her forcing him self out of his welcoming bed.

For once in his life everything was going well. Connor was home, and Cordilia had told Groo to go back to Pylea. That proved it? She must have feelings for him.

Angel moved downstairs and was greeted by the sight of all his friends, his family sitting around together. Gunn, Fred, Cordilia, Lorne, and Connor. All of them together just as it should be.

"Coffee?" Cordilia asked offering him the mug she held. He took it gratefully and her hands held his for a long tender moment before she smiled and moved away.

'_That went well.'_ He thought to himself.

There hadn't been many calls for help lately but it wasn't bothering Angel. He had everything he needed, everything he could want. Well almost, but he'd have her soon enough. Angel was even going to take Connor through a few more combat moves. Yes for once everything was working out.

_************** _

_ 'So this is going well'_ Buffy thought as she patrolled for the night. _'As well as it could be anyways, all things considered.'_ So far she'd stayed strong and resisted Spike. Part of her wondered how long that would last. Despite her resolve a part of her still wanted him.

It didn't matter how many times she told herself it was wrong. Spike was a drug to her. He made her feel wrong and dirty, which was what she was. She didn't deserve better. She deserved to be tainted.

It was that sort of sick logic that kept her awake at nights. It was that sort of thinking that kept bringing her back to him. She moved through the graveyard, silently as always.

How had she gotten here? What had happened to the innocent girl she once was? The one who used to laugh and enjoy being around her friends?

That sick logic of hers always knew the answer. That girl had been left in the grave she had clawed out of. She had come back wrong. She knew that despite what Tara or anyone else said. How else could it be that she did these things?

Buffy knew he was near her, she always knew. So she tried to ignore him, kept her pace brisk. Making sure she made it clear that she wished to be alone. Naturally that didn't stop him.

"Buffy"

"Go away Spike" she called back to him as she kept her pace, not once looking towards him. Still he trotted up behind her.

"Buffy can't we at least talk about this?" Spike pleaded.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You feel something for me, I know you do. I could tell when I brought that girl to the wedding. You were jealous, there's something real between us."

"Spike please. I don't want to do this tonight." He sighed as he continued to walk along beside her.

"Then lets do something else." He suggested seductively. He said it in that voice that sent chills down her spine. He grabbed onto her hand forcing her to stop walking, and just as quickly he pulled her towards him so that she was now pressed tightly to him.

"Spike don't," she said weakly as his lips descended on her own. Capturing her in a searing and brutal kiss. Spike pulled her tighter as their kiss deepened and he could feel Buffy giving into his cold caress.

She wanted to give in, wanted to lose her self in his touch and forget who she really was. His cool hands ran along her body, a cruel mockery of similar hands that had once held her so lovingly. But those times were long gone, as was the one who'd held her. Now there was only Spike, and pleasure without the love.

The slightest strand of sanity returned to her and she pulled away but still remained in his embrace.

"No Spike, never again" She told him trying to step out of his arms.

"One more time love." He coaxed pulling her back into another fierce kiss. She was lost again. Her body numbing with the sensation. She kissed him back just as violently and was so very close to giving in. Then she remembered Dawn.

_'Was she alone right now? Feeling abandoned once again?'_ For a moment Buffy remembered Dawns out burst at her party. She hadn't been around because she was with Spike. She'd promised Dawn that that would change and here she was about to do go down that road again.

She pulled away and this time she completely left his embrace. Spike moved towards her and this time she ran.

************

_'She's so beautiful'_ Angel thought to himself. He was reading a book; well at least it appeared that he was. The truth was he'd been watching Cordilia over the top of his book for quite some time. She on the other hand was just writing, doing work of some sort.

Could she feel his eyes racking over her body as she sat so still. Did she want him as much as he did right now? He wanted to grab her and press her into the desk she was working at. But how could he? What if she reacted badly, besides Fred and Gunn were in the room.

Angel sighed out loud before standing and making his way towards the stairs. The day hadn't been all that eventful and he was finding Cordilia all to tempting.

"I'll see you guys in the morning" he called over his shoulder as he headed up the stairs. He could feel Cordilia's gaze on his back and it sent chills down his spine.

Visions of her swam through his head as he lied awake in his bed. The smell of her perfume was still intoxicating him. He wanted so much to just reach into the blankets and-

"Angel?" her soft voice called from the other side of his door. Before she opened it and slipped in. "Good your still awake. I've been thinking a lot lately"

"About what?"

"Just us." She whispered as she came closer and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Us?" he replied swallowing deeply.

"I was thinking maybe we could go out somewhere, sometime."

"Yeah, yeah sure" he told her

"Alright sounds good." She leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips, before darting away and moving towards the door.

"Good night"

"Night" he called after her.

He was definitely going to have a good night's sleep.

As he slipped into unconsciousness he began to feel her body against his, and her lips traveling over him. He hadn't felt like this since…No there was no point in going there, she had her own life and so did he now. They were both happy that way.


	2. Chapter 2: Moving On?

_**Chapter 2: Moving on?**_

_Alright it took me longer to write more then I thought it would, I kinda forgot about this. But I'm back in my writng mood. Thanks to those who reviewed it made me so happy. I hope you guys like this chapter, and please review!_

Angel moved through the lobby the next morning. It was another great day. Cordillia was moving busily around the office a smile spread across her face. They had decided they would go to dinner tonight. They were going on a date, him and Cordillia. He was so excited and nervous and it wouldn't be too much longer until it was dark enough for them to go.

XXX

Buffy sat alone at her kitchen table. Of course she was alone, she always seemed to be these days. Dawn was out at her friends house and Willow was…well she didn't really know. She missed the times when they would all hang out together, her, Xander, Willow, Cordillia, Oz, and Angel. That was so long ago now. Everything had changed and none for the good. She longed for that old familiarity.

Maybe if she just called him, to see how he was doing. To just talk like they use to. But how could she? She could never tell him what she'd done. Where she'd been. No, Angel couldn't help her this time, she'd have to deal with this all on her own.

"Thought you might be alone." Of course he was here.

"In other words you've been watching me, waiting for me to be alone."

"In those words yes. I wanted to talk to you about last night."

"Please Spike, there's nothing to talk about. Just leave."

"You don't look so great. Are you upset or something?"

"Spike"

"Or just lonely." He hinted coming closer to her and placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't," she protested weakly.

"Come on love, I can chase away the loneliness for a few hours." He pulled her to a standing position and brought his lips to hers. This time she didn't pull away. He led her back into the living room and pulled her onto the couch with him.

She always gave into him, she just wasn't strong anymore.

XXX

Angel sat with Cordillia she was done eating. They had talked but not about anything important. He would pay the bill and they'd go back home and then what? He wished he knew what he was supposed to do now. But it had been so long since his last date.

Once again she flashed briefly through his mind and he felt his stomach tighten. A small part of him, the part that belonged only to her saw this as a betrayal. He suppressed the thought, he was here now with Cordillia and that was what was important.

They stood in the lobby Fred and Gunn were the only ones near by and they were in another room, so they were alone. All he had to do was lean down and…

His lips met hers lightly and sweetly, he wrapped his arms gently around her slender form and pulled her closer as their kiss escalated. A phone rang in the background and he pulled away smiling sheepishly.

"Fred will get it" Cordillia told him meeting him for another kiss, and sure enough the ringing stopped. Not like it mattered now, Angel had forgotten all about it.

Her arms were around his neck, her tongue was running along his lips, probing his mouth.

"Angel?" They pulled away quickly and turned to look at Fred who had adverted her eyes when she entered the room to see her boss kissing Cordillia.

"Umm sorry" she murmured. "But the phones for you." She was cradling the phone against her breast.

"Could you just take a message?" he asked eager to get back to his earlier task.

"Oh umm sure. I'm sorry he's busy at the moment, could I take a message?" she asked lifting the phone back to her ear and speaking to the person on the other line.

"Sure I'll tell him, Buffy? Is that right?"

Angel's body went colder than it normally was as Fred uttered that name. Without thinking he was beside her and pulling the phone from her hand without another thought.

"Buffy?"

"Angel?" god just hearing her voice gave him chills, no memory could do it justice, but as heavenly as it sounded he still picked up the hints of sadness in her voice.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately. He heard her sigh. He could practically see her clutching at the phone wire.

"I-I umm, I can't" she stuttered, the sadness filling her voice more with every word. "I can't say it Angel."

"Buffy please." Oh how he loved saying her name, the way it rolled right off her tongue. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's happening"

"There's nothing you can do to help me now, I just need to hear your voice. Talk to me, please." She pleaded.

How could he refuse? He longed to talk to her just as much. He didn't even notice the glares Cordillia was firing his way, or more so directed at the phone. Naturally Buffy had to intrude just when things were going so well.

"Anything" he promised her as he moved into his office and shut the door behind him, cutting off the rest of the conversation from Cordillia who was trying desperately to hear what was going on.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked her.

XXX

Buffy was curled up on her bed. She wasn't going to call him; she hadn't wanted to give into that urge. But then with Spike, she needed to forget, she needed him to make it all go away even if it was just for a bit.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked her.

'_That you love me, that you still want me and I'm the only one who will ever be in your heart. That you made a mistake and your coming back to me.'_

"Anything, tell me about what's going on there, how you've been. Just tell me anything." She said instead.

"Umm well I fought a Manose demon on Thursday." He began, and they talked for hours it seemed. He told her about fights he'd had, cases he taken. About his friends. But he left everything about Connor and Cordillia out. He also left out why it was Wesley wasn't there.

"So things are good for you then?" she asked

"Yeah they are. Things are finally starting to make sense."

"I'm glad, I want you to be happy."

"And what about you? How are you dealing with things?" he asked her.

"It's hard, some days are harder than others, this being one of them. But I'm okay" she lied.

"Good, Buffy you know if you ever need anything I'm always here."

"I know, but just this helped a lot. Thanks. I guess I should go, try and get some sleep or something."

"That sounds like a good idea. We'll talk again soon."

"Angel" she called out to him. "It's good to talk to you."

"I've missed you too," he told her. Reading her true meaning in her words.

XXX

"Angel?" Cordillia called out when she saw him leave the room and head straight for the stairs.

"Oh Cordillia, I'm sorry about all that."

"Is everything okay?" she asked him, hoping that maybe it was just some demon, and that's why Buffy called.

"Oh yeah everything fine, she just needed someone to talk to."

'_And that person had to be you?'_ she bit back this remark and smiled falsely.

"Well I'm glad everyone's okay. So umm do you want to sit and talk for awhile or something?"

"Not tonight I'm really tired, but I'll see you in the morning" he told her leaning over and kissing her briefly on the mouth. "Night" he told her as he moved up the stairs and into his room, closing the door behind him.

'_Well he kissed me, that's a good sign. I guess he really is over Buffy. That means he's all mine' _She smiled to herself as she moved towards her own room.

XXX

Buffy hung up the phone_. 'That wasn't so bad'_ she told her self. _'I wish I could just' _No she couldn't have these thoughts again. They'd talked, nothing more, it didn't change anything. _'Sleep' _she told herself firmly and in moments she was asleep, thoughts of Angel still plaguing her mind.

XXX

Angel could feel her smooth body moving perfectly with his own. This dream was a hundred times more real then before. He could feel her warmth encircle him. He could hear her cry out his name, and feel her nails digging into his back as he pressed deeper into her. He buried his face in her soft golden hair. Had Buffy always smelled this good? He wondered. His cold lips moved along her heated body. It had been sometime since he had dreamed of her but he indulged in it non-the less.

Buffy's hands moved along his bare chest, re-acquainting herself with his every muscle and curve. It all felt so real.

Angel moved his hand along Buffy's soft chest, feeling her strong firm body. His hands slipped lower and her legs wrapped firmly around his waist pulling him closer. He brought his lips to her neck, sucking on the scar he'd left there. Her hands tangled in his hair as she held his head closer to her. "Angel" she panted while his face nuzzled her neck.

"Buffy" he sighed as he pressed more firmly into her. Bringing her into ecstasy.

"God Angel" she cried out before her eyes opened wide and she was lying in her own bed alone. Panting she sat up

"Wow" she whispered.

"God Angel" he felt her body tighten around him and a moment later he was awake. His eyes wide open his body hard and aching. He could smell her perfume; he could still feel her body and taste her lips. But she wasn't there. He was alone and Buffy was miles away. But that dream, it had felt so real. He couldn't remember ever wanting anyone this badly before.

"Buffy" he sighed to himself.


	3. Chapter 3: In my heart, in my bed

**In My Heart, In My Bed**

The next few days went by in a blur. Angel woke up, killed some demons and hurried off to bed. He dreamt about her every night. It was so vivid he was almost positive she'd be there when he awoke, but she wasn't and each time he awoke it was all he could do not to call her, or go running back to her.

He could tell Cordillia was growing upset. He'd sleep for as long as he could and his conversations with her would die quickly. He attempted to talk to her, he had wanted her for so long and he didn't want to ruin things, but it was hard.

Cordillia was getting upset; Angel always seemed preoccupied he hadn't been the same since he talked to Buffy. She wanted so badly to know what they had talked about. He couldn't possibly still love Buffy? Not now that he was with her.

"Angel" She called out late one night as he headed towards his room. Angel sighed he wanted to sleep but knew he owed Cordillia at least some of his time.

It happened so quickly but suddenly he was in his room and they were kissing on his bed_. 'This is right'_ Angel thought. _'I have Cordillia, I can't keep wanting a dream._' He did his best to focus on her as he ran his hands along her body.

"I've missed you" Cordillia whispered

"I haven't left"

"Yes you have, but this is better" she told him kissing him deeply, she was rewarded with a moan.

"Cordillia you know I can't" he told her pushing her back a little "I want to, believe me but"

"I know the curse, okay I'll go. We'll figure out away around that, we just need to do some research"

"Yeah alright"

Angel was lying in his bed again, only this time alone. He had wanted to be with Cordillia, wanted to take her that night, but he couldn't. Thats why he stopped. There was no other reason he told himself. He loved Cordillia.

'_And now I'll go to sleep and dream about her because I love and want only her'_

He closed his eyes and felt the familiar sensations run along his body. It wasn't Cordillia he knew that, and a part of him felt guilt while another more physical part of him felt excitement. She was under him, more clearly then ever, he could feel her warmth and hear her every breath.

"I was waiting" she whispered

"I'm sorry I was, working" he lied. _'Why am I lying to a dream?'_

She didn't comment just brought her lips to his, and moved against him.

He moaned "I love you Buffy" and her eyes shot open, for a moment they stopped moving and then as something passed between them she sighed softly and replied. "I love you too"

Angel could feel consciousness claiming him once again, but at the same time he could still feel the warmth that was coming from his dream lover. He moved towards the warmth and was rewarded with her searing kiss. He groaned, rolling himself on top of her again, wanting to claim her once more before sleep left him. Buffy was clinging tightly to him riding every thrust until her body tensed.

"Angel" she cried softly as his speed picked up. He opened his eyes and looked down at her clinging form. She was so clear to him now, her every detail just as he remembered but different somehow. She was close he could feel it and he pressed deeper causing her to cry out louder, her nails dug into his flesh and that's when his senses returned to him. He became aware that he wasn't dreaming. Not this time, the body below him was too real, and he was definitely awake. The bit of light that escaped into his room told him that. In shock he looked down at the body below him. Buffy's body, naked and shaking as she came beneath him. Angel pulled suddenly away, and moved off her.

Buffy opened her eyes in confusion as she felt the weight lift off her, sitting up she saw him sitting on the other side of the bed. She was confused for a moment then saw the look on his face. Buffy quickly pulled the blankets up to cover herself, realizing that she wasn't dreaming and they had just done something very wrong.

"Angel?" she asked her voice shaking. She was praying that this was still a dream.

"Buffy" he replied his voice answering her silent question.

"What- how did this?"

"I don't know, I need, I need to find some clothes."

"The curse? Angel what have we done?" she asked him calmly and almost in a whisper though the terror was evident in her voice.

"It's okay" he told her moving to his dresser. "I uh, I didn't" this was something he didn't want to talk to her about right now. "I didn't... finish" he finally got out. It was then that she took notice that he was still very much aroused.

"Oh" she said almost sadly, as she eyed him not even realizing what she was doing. Angel saw this and couldn't contain a moan. He also noticed that the blankets were slipping down her body.

"You need to put some clothes on." He told her throwing a shirt and pants from his drawer at her. She quickly put them on, and blushed slightly as Angel's gaze never faltered.

"How did I get here?" she asked

"I don't know" he told her sitting on the edge of the bed and resting his head in his hands. Rational thought was still far from him as he fought to dampen his desire for the women sitting in the bed beside him.

"Research" she exclaimed. "We need to do research and…did u have well dreams too?"

"I did, I thought they were just…so research" he asked.

"Right you have books here I'm sure, so we should go get them" she moved to get up and Angel suddenly grabbed her hand.

"No" he told her before letting go of her hand, he was thinking more clearly now and he knew he couldn't keep Buffy here. This whole situation was something he wanted to keep his friends out of, especially Cordillia and if they saw her, he'd have a lot to explain.

"I think you should get home. We can research our selves and call if we find anything. Just so we don't worry any of our friends"

"Right that makes senses they'd probably panic if they knew me and you were…well that we had sex"

"Exactly"

"So I should get home before they notice I'm gone" she stood and moved towards the door, he watched her go before she turned to face him again. "I'll need some bus money" she told him and he stood as well.

She was gone and Angel had spent the rest of his day in books trying to find some explanation. Coridillia had attempted conversation but after a few grunts and yeah's on his part she had given up. The day was long and Angel wanted so much to call Buffy and see what she'd found because he was having no luck and it would be night again soon.


	4. Chapter 4: Late nights

**Chapter 4: Late nights**

Well this was a very long update. Umm about 2 years. But I'm determined to finish the stories I started on here. So Plz review if you read this! It will keep me motivated :)

"I haven't found anything either" Buffy sighed into the phone. She had really been hoping Angel would figure this out because she had never been very good at the research part of her job. She had debated over whether she should tell Willow or anyone else but had decided in the end that she couldn't. How could she explain this to them? How could she even bring it up? It would worry them and besides she didn't even know if it would happen again. Maybe she'd get lucky and it would be a one time deal.

Dawn had fluttered around the room all morning and Buffy had felt guilty, she couldn't explain to Dawn why she was so busy and why she couldn't go to lunch and to make things worse Spike had stopped by.

"Reading anything interesting love?" he'd asked her. He walked seductively around her peering at the numerous titles of books that surrounded her. "Didn't know you were into the book scene, I have a few costumes we could try on to add to the look."

"Eww Spike, just get out" she replied. He was definitely the last person she wanted to deal with right now.

"I think you'd make a great..." he stopped circling and looked straight at her. Buffy looked up when she heard him suddenly stop and felt her stomach drop as he just continued to scrutinize her. He can't know she thought to herself but then she started thinking. Had she showered? Could Spike smell the scent of sweat and sex on her? Could he smell Angel?

"What?" she asked hotly trying to cover up her own nervousness.

"What did you do last night?" he asked slowly his gaze never shifting.

"Excuse me?" she replied trying to sound insulting but afraid it was coming out nervous. Along with research she'd never been a very good liar.

"Last night" he repeated coldly. "where were you?"

"That's really none of your business." she answered grabbing the books around her and planning a quick escape. To where she really didn't know, she just knew she wanted this conversation to end right now.

"you reek of sex" he said shortly. Well why not cut straight to the chase she thought bitterly.

"I'm ending this conversation now Spike" she replied keeping a steady pace towards the stairs but he caught her arm and pulled her back, the books fell to the floor.

"Who was with you?" he asked, his hand tightening on her arm.

"Again, its none of your business what I do, where I go, and who I'm with. In fact I'm pretty sure I told you to leave. Now take your hand off me before I break it off" and she pulled her arm back violently breaking his hold. She took a step back and he stepped forward threateningly. Buffy felt the tension in the room and was half convinced she'd have to beat Spike, chip or not, she didn't like his actions. Then Dawn walked cheerfully into the room.

"Hey" she smiled happily, spotting Spike. It seemed to take her a second to take in the scene but a second later she noticed the obvious tension and asked "What's going on?"

Buffy broke off her stare with Spike and looked to her sister. "Nothing, Spike was just leaving" and she moved to the door and opened it for him. Spike continued to glare at Buffy but said nothing as he strode out the door.

"That was weird" Dawn said after he had gone. "What's wrong with him?"

XXX

"There's a few more things I can try" Angel told her "but honestly I'm not sure what I'm looking for"

"Its definitely a head scratcher" Buffy answered. She was beginning to feel the need for sleep setting in. It had been a very long and eventful day. "So what do we do? I mean about tonight?" Buffy asked.

Angel sighed. "I guess we can hope that it wont happen again, keep researching and just go from there."

"Yea I guess. Well I'll talk to you later then? Hopefully not to soon though" she laughed nervously and heard him give the same forced chuckle back. It was a stressful situation to deal with, afraid to go to sleep and at the same time wanting nothing more but to slip into that realistic dream world again.

Buffy closed her eyes and it didn't take long for sleep to claim her. She felt her self slipping into the normal meaningless type of dreams she normally felt. It was a good thing but she couldn't help feeling a tinge of disappointment before sinking completely into unconsciousness.

XXX

Angel sat up starring blankly at the book open in front of him. He was exhausted but he refused to go to bed. He had given up hope of finding anything out tonight but he still stayed awake. If he didn't sleep he reasoned, Buffy would stay safe and untouched in her own bed.

He turned the page though he hadn't actually taken in any information on the previous one. He just needed some sort of action to keep him alert. But as the night wore on his mind started to wander and he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Buffy.

Her sweet lips on his, moving slowly downwards as she unbuttoned his shirt. Her legs straddling him on the chair he still sat on next to his desk. Part of him started to remember something. There was something wrong with this, he tried vainly to grab onto this thought but then her hand was on his zipper pulling it down slowly and his thoughts slipped away from him.

He grabbed hold of her and lifted her onto his desk pulling the pajama's she was wearing from her body as he did so. She had somehow managed to push his pants to his knees and he briefly wondered when that had happened. He stepped out of them and moved over her on the desk. He had been about to enter her when he felt himself being pushed away. He fell onto the chair behind him and looked up at her in surprise and disappointment. Why was she pushing him away?

A thought began to enter his mind again but then she fell to her knees in front of him and his mind went blank once again. His head fell back and a deep moan escaped his lips as he felt her hot tongue run along the underside of his cock and then her mouth slipped over him and her head began to move up and down along him.

He felt her soft hair brushing against his lap and regained enough common sense to hold it back for her. He watched in fascination as her head moved along him and felt her tongue circling in her mouth as she did this. The sensation was sending chills through his body and he could feel himself tensing with anticipation. The feel of her teeth lightly scraping along him nearly sent him over the edge but he held back and continued to devour her tight form which was bent over his lap with his eyes.

He let out another groan as he tangled his hands into her hair and forced her into a faster pace. It suddenly occurred to him that he should stay quiet and he couldn't understand why. The train of thought began to fade away and then suddenly something snapped into place and he remembered why he should be quiet and why he shouldn't be doing this.

It was like a fog cleared in his mind and he looked down at Buffy who apparently was to occupied to notice the change in him. He took in the situation in an instant, he was sitting in his office, in his chair and Buffy's mouth was working dutifully upon him. He sighed again, in pleasure and sadness as he watched in fascination as she worked. He was about to pull her gently up so he could wake her from the daze she was still in when he felt her mouth slide right to the base of his cock. He could feel the slight vibrations in her throat as she moaned.

Against his better judgement he let his head fall back again and continued to watch her with half closed eyes. He should stop, he knew this was wrong, probably on a few levels since Buffy was not technically in a proper state.... but what was a few more minutes he reasoned to himself. He had been dreaming about her for weeks, and he'd felt her and come so close....but he could never.....he never got to. Maybe if he just.....he groaned in frustration this time.

He could probably do this and not lose his soul he reasoned but either way it wasn't fair to Buffy to take advantage of her like this. He closed his eyes for a few more seconds trying to summon the will power and finally his voice broke the silence.

"Buffy" but it came out as more of a whispered moan and she only moved faster in response. He closed his eyes and drew another breath, trying again. "Buffy" this time it came out louder and she looked up at him questioningly. He waited a moment and watched as realization dawned on her face.

XXX

Buffy's meaningless dreams had suddenly shifted and the blurred colours and sounds around her started to take on shape and form. Then she was there kissing him, on his lap. She could feel him harden beneath her and ground purposefully against him. This was the dream she'd been hoping for, craving. Everything was still a blur but a pleasant and realistic one. A desk, a chair, these pants that were attempting to keep her from her goal.

She fell to her knees excitedly and a thrill went through her body every time he made a noise. She loved knowing that she was the cause of his pleasure. She heard him groan her name and a small smile crept onto her lips. God that sounded good. Then he said her name but with more force. She brought her head up to look at him and held his eyes for a moment. The look on his face made her remember something and soon she felt her face go pink.

The situation came to her suddenly and she realized she was naked, kneeled in front of an also naked Angel and her hand was still..... She pulled it back suddenly. She could have sworn she saw disappointment flicker across his face.

"So much for our maybe its a one time thing theory" she said awkwardly getting to her feet.

"I tried to stay awake" he told her. "but I must have dozed off"

"Well were going to have to figure out what's causing this" she answered looking around awkwardly. "umm nice office..... so uh did I have something to wear?"

He coughed slightly "I think, I think I threw it over there" he pointed towards a corner. She moved to get it but his hand caught her arm and held her where she stood. She turned to look at him and his lips met hers fiercely. He caught her by surprise but she quickly responded. She felt her back hit the desk and he moved her onto it.

God so close she thought. "Please" she moaned. He stopped before he did anything extrame but didn't pull away. His body stayed tightly pressed against her and he buried his face in her neck.

"Sorry" he whispered. "I shouldn't have done that."

"oh" she moved to sit up but he grabbed her and held her still.

"No not like that" he whispered rubbing his face in her hair. "you know I want you" he kissed her neck. "but I can't.... I'm sorry. Just don't move for a second" He held them still but his hands still stroked her lightly as he attempted to get control of himself again. After a couple of minutes he moved off her and started gathering his clothes.

"what time is it?" she asked breaking the silence as she watched him dress.

"umm 4:10. Buses probably aren't running yet. I'd drive you but I don't think I'd beat the sunrise"

"yea that's okay. I'll wait for a bus."

"Buffy look I'm going to figure this out okay." he pulled her in for a hug, then added a quick kiss on her lips as an after thought. "Call me when you get home"


End file.
